Idiots Prevail, And So Do I

For a long time, I have sort of protected myself, and limited the things that I did to a sort of safety net. I have lived in fear of judgment from others. In recent days, I have done a few things that opened me up for judgment from others, and they didn't disappoint.

I won't go into details about what was said or done, because honestly, that's not where the story is this time. In the past, I have been so broken by what some insensitive jerk has said to me or about me. I was broken to the point that I still carry some pain from a couple different incidents. But now... now things are different.

When insensitive things are said to or about me now, it doesn't break me. It doesn't make me want to cry. It doesn't cut me to the core. It ANGERS me. It angers me because I know that there are people out there, who are just like I was, who are being broken by the rude comments that these people make. It angers me that there are people out there who desperately want to be accepted and continue to be cast aside. It angers me that jerks are making snap judgments about me and thousands of others based solely upon one glance at our bodies.

The bottom line is, my self-worth is not defined by my pants size. The kind of person I am is not built in my bra size. My beauty is not based on whether I shop plus sizes or not. My health is not determined by any piece of trash that has negative comments to make about me based solely upon my appearance.

Everyday, I work towards eating appropriate foods. I workout routinely. I get my big butt into a pair of running shoes and I hit the road running, and oftentimes it's for MILES. I pay attention to my salt intake, my sugar intake, my calories, fat, carbs, and protein. I have a personal calorie burn goal 6 days a week. I have lost 55 pounds and counting. I am finding day after day more and more things that I can accomplish that I never could before. I love my life. I'm happy, healthy, and fulfilled. My family has noticed such a change in me. Mentally and emotionally, I'm more stable than I have been in at least ten years. I have more energy than I can ever remember having. I am the wife, mother, and friend that I have always thought I could be, and more.

When some random joe blow on the street bumps into me, that person can't know those things. And any comment that he or she may have about me are irrelevant. If someone called me an alien, I wouldn't be hurt, broken and deeply scarred by their comment. I would think they were certifiable, because clearly I'm not an alien. It's absurd. So when someone calls me fat, ugly, disgusting, or any other comment about my appearance, why would I let that hurt me? It's just as absurd. It holds no credibility, and I won't allow it to have any power over me.

I make the decisions about my health and subsequently my weight for myself, to be the person that my family deserves to have in their lives, and to hopefully extend my days here with them. I choose to dress attractively for myself, and for my husband (love you, babe). I share my journey to hopefully inspire others to not only take control of their health, but also to share my experiences and hopefully empower others to gain some self-confidence in their lives. Haters serve one purpose in my world: they only motivate me to work even harder.

The single most important thing that has happened in this journey, is I have quit "faking it" when it comes to my self esteem. I have finally learned to love myself, just the way I am. And if my followers do nothing else, the one thing I hope you all do is learn that your value is not determined by what strangers with moronic thoughts say or think about you. You are not defined by them, and you are not defined by your weight, looks, economic status, skin color, sexual orientation, or any other point of judgment.

You are beautiful, wonderful, amazing, inspiring, and flat out awesome. And don't you forget it.