50 Pounds Down. Again.

Today, I finally reached the 50 pounds down mark, for the second time in this journey. I am right at ten pounds away from getting back to the smallest point I have hit thus far. I carry zero shame in the fact that I allowed myself to stumble and gain back the 25 pounds that I did. In fact, if anything, I feel more triumphant in conquering it once and for all and not allowing the setback to control my destiny.

So what impact has losing 50 pounds had on my life?

• 50 pounds ago, I couldn't fit into booths at restaurants comfortably. My stomach was very tight against the table. 
• Today, I have zero problems with any booth. Period.
• 50 pounds ago, I barely had the energy to get off the sofa throughout the day. 
• Today, I hit the ground running, and don't think twice about it.
• 50 pounds ago, I struggled with the snooze button, and routinely flew out of the bed with barely enough time to get my kids to school on time.
• Today, I still hit that stinking snooze button (that thing is my nemesis), but I'm out of the bed a solid hour earlier than I used to be.
• 50 pounds ago, I was squeezing myself into a size 24 because I refused to reach a point I had to order clothes online.
• Today, I regularly pick up clearance shirts off the rack at regular clothing stores.
• 50 pounds ago, I ate with reckless abandon. And oftentimes, the foods I was eating were zapping my energy levels because of being high carb/high fat foods. 
• Today, I still indulge in some "bad for me" foods, but I watch all of my nutrient data to make sure I'm not just within a specific calorie bracket, but that I'm also properly fueling my body. My energy level is through the roof. 
• 50 pounds ago, I was in such a deep depression that I had totally lost sight of who I was as a person.
• Today, I am firmly in control of my emotional state, and I have a love for life I can't explain.
• 50 pounds ago, I was seeking out thinspo, and wondering if I would ever get there.
• Today, I am my own thinspo, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I WILL get there.
• 50 pounds ago, I was hyperfocused on what "delicious" foods I was going to have to give up.
• Today, I can't believe the wealth of truly delicious foods I was robbing myself of by choosing overprocessed, stripped down versions of food.
• 50 pounds ago, I was chronically dehydrated (to the point that it caused issues with my health) and only drank sodas and sweet tea.
• Today, I drink a minimum of 2 liters of water daily, which has proven to not only make me feel better, but has also made my skin a thousand times less oily because it's hydrated from within.
• 50 pounds ago, I was participating self-deprecating humor, and had an inner monologue of self-hatred.
• Today... well... Never. Ever. Again. EVER.

I swear I could go on and on. The differences in my life go far beyond the superficial ones. The emotional and mental transformation has been just as great as the physical. And the best part? I am NOWHERE NEAR DONE! What that means to me, is my world is only going to continue to get better and better. 

I honestly could never stop at this point, because I can't WAIT to see what the future me is going to be like. 

I am 50 pounds down. And I will never be the same.