Fear of Failure 101

What is my biggest obstacle in weight loss? Failure.

That seems like such an obvious answer, but it carries such weight with it. This is the failure cycle of weight loss (for me at least):

1. Become fed up with being fat.
2. Declare that a new journey is beginning.
3. Swear that this time is different and I'm determined and will succeed.
4. Do moderately well for a week, a month, possibly six months.
5. Start slipping little by little.
6. Fall completely off the wagon.
7. Try to get back on, but only give a half-hearted attempt.
8. Fall off again.
9. Slide into a comfortable place of doing nothing good for myself.
10. Become fed up with being fat.

It's really a bit like the "If you give a mouse a cookie" children's books.... And through the cycle, I end up right back where I started. Words cannot describe how defeated I feel. It's ironic really, because I rarely feel defeated at the time that I fall from grace. It is when I am working to pull myself back up that I feel like a total failure. I begin to feel like, "Well...here you go again. Wonder where we'll make it in the cycle before falling off the wagon and starting the whole thing over this time."

Fear of failure. Fear of repeating the past. Fear of being unable to break the cycle. Fear of having people think that I'm wasting my time.

It's terrible, but I begin each time struggling between feeling inspired and motivated, and feeling like a failure before I ever begin.

New Assignment for myself this week: Find some motivational information online about conquering fear of failure. It's the internet, for crying out loud. There has to be some sort of goodness out there. Blog post to follow with solutions to my fear of failure. Be on the lookout for Fear of Failure 102.