Open Letter to Pretty Much Everyone: Don't Coddle Me.

August has been such a horrible month. And now that things have sort of stabilized, I had a mega kick-butt day today. I put in about 100 minutes of working out, and about an hour of yoga and stretching. I feel fantastic. I told a few people about my accomplishments after my tumultuous month, and I was proud. All of those people, with the exception of one, gave me the same well-intended response:

Make sure you don't push too hard! Take it slow so you don't injure yourself! You don't have to do all the work in one day. No need to do all those minutes of working out. If you try to keep up this pace, you're going to burn yourself out. 

Why is it, that as a fat girl, folks are super quick to place judgment on your laziness and lack of motivation to exercise; but the moment you take initiative, they're fast to push you down and tell you to "take it slow" and such? What IS that?!

Do I think that I can reasonably keep up a pace of working out 160 minutes a day? No. I have a life. I have three children. I have a million things going on at any given time. I realize that there may be some days that I only squeeze in 30 minutes. I'm completely aware that the logistics of maintaining the level of pace on a daily basis may not always work into my schedule. But so what? I did it today. And I feel GREAT!

Furthermore, I know my body. I listen to it. I have probably done these exercises as much as if not more than you have (although I fully admit that there are TONS of athletes that have done way more work than I've ever dreamed of doing). I stretch. I warm up. I cool down. I pay super close attention to my form. I'm fully aware that I have arthritis in both of my knees, as well as previous knee injuries that I have to baby. I make modifications, and avoid exercises that I know wouldn't be good for them. Just because I'm putting the work in, logging in those fitness minutes, and really pushing myself, does NOT mean that I'm not listening to my body and paying super close attention to to avoiding injuries as much as I can. I'm no moron - an injury will put a solid halt on progress, and that's the last thing I need or want.

Sabotage comes in so many forms. It doesn't have to be in the form of someone presenting fattening foods or encouraging restaurants where we shouldn't eat. This, as well meaning as it may seem, is just another wolf in sheep's clothing - sabotage presented as concern. It's no different than the friend who says, "Are you sure that you're eating enough? You have hardly any food on your plate!"

I find so many aspects of this journey so maddening. It's one of the biggest emotional roller coasters anyone could ever embark on. There are more high, low, proud, shameful, exciting, scary, exhilarating, intimidating, infuriating, thrilling, heartbreaking moments concentrated into one comparatively short-lived experience than any single person can remotely imagine.  This is just one of those things that happens to totally get under my skin.

Coddling and petting me doesn't get me to my goal. It keeps me right where I am, or worse, gets me heavier. I have to keep pushing myself. I have to do more today than I did yesterday. I have to find it in me to do the things that I haven't been doing. And I have to stop making excuses. There is no reason I can't do 100 minutes of exercise. There's no reason I can't do 60 minutes of yoga on top of that. Is it a good amount? Yes. Is it excessive? Not in the slightest. There's no reason in the world I can't do this, so please, for my sake, trust me. Trust me to take care of myself in the way that I know that I can. Trust that I can work out, and know my limits. And applaud me when I have kick butt days like today! :)