Not So Alone, Afterall

As a person who is fat, when going through my day-to-day life, and my journey to become someone who is NOT fat, I tend to feel very isolated, and very alone. I feel as though my trials, my struggles, my negative experiences, my constant battles with food and exercise, my LIFE is very much so one of solitude. I see my thin counterparts not only not facing the same experiences, but also not understanding my struggles.

This blog came to be because it was a place and a way to journal my feelings to no one or someone or anyone, and I had hoped that just one person, maybe two, would stumble upon it, and completely understand where I'm coming from. If I could resonate with one person, it would be worth it.

Never in my wildest of imaginations would I have ever imagined that I would resonate with SO MANY people! I am so humbled by your outpouring of love and support on my SparkPeople page. 

Here's what I know about weight loss, weight gain, and weight struggles and journies: they're highly emotional. If you're gaining weight, it's emotional. If you're losing weight, it's emotional. If you're maintaining at an unhealthy weight, it's emotional. No matter what stage I am or you are in within these journies, they will be emotional. Learning to deal with those emotions - the positive emotions, the negative emotions, the middle ground emotions - that's the key.

Learning to celebrate without food, learning to mourn without food, learning to be bored without food, learning to cope without food - that's the ticket. If we could figure out how to lean on each other, and figure out ways to face our emotions without using food as a crutch to avoid them. All too often, it's so simple to turn to food in the times of our emotions rather than deal with what has caused them. If I can reach a point that emotions aren't driving me to eat, I will have arrived.

It's so wonderful to feel like I'm not alone in this, and I am so excited to continue this journey with each of you supporting me, and relating to me, even in my times of struggle and need.  That being said, please know, these are simply my journals, my ramblings, and my inner thoughts, come to fruition in type, shared for any and all to see. I do not proclaim them to be perfect, right, or even remotely politically correct. I can assure you that I will say things that you don't agree with, and that quite possibly make zero sense to anyone else in this world. I work diligently to try to be kind and open-minded, but by the same token, I'm just another fat girl, who used to be a thin girl, and is striving to be that girl again. I'm not here to tear anyone down, discriminate, judge, or make anyone feel as though their feelings don't count, nor will I debate with anyone as to whether what I say is right or wrong.

This is me, pouring out what my inner monologue says, and what I feel, for anyone who cares to hear it. I welcome you to my journey, and I encourage each of you to journal yours as well.