I Get Knocked Down, But I Get Up Again

Life is a bully. She'll throw you around, kick you when you're down, and outright abuse you until you're left crying and begging for mercy. She is relentless, and will break even the strongest of people. 

Over the past few months, I have allowed myself to become utterly overwhelmed by life. I got knocked down. I have been kicked and beaten and have been through the wringer more times than could ever be considered remotely fair. I got knocked down. I faced and continue to face hardships that no one should ever have to face. I got knocked down. Things in my world began to spiral out of control completely. I got knocked down. I could barely find the strength to muddle through my days, much less attempt to do something as difficult and as great as a weight loss journey. I. Got. Knocked. Down. 

But I got up again. 

I have a lot of things in my life that I have to work to get to a point that they are manageable. I have a long way to go. But, I have to start somewhere. Over the past few weeks, I have been working to get my mind out of the horrible place that it has been in, and tried to adjust my mentality to give myself the firm footing that I need to get a handle on my world. As a result, I am feeling more in control and more centered than I have felt in months. I am dealing with some personal and external demons, big and small, one by one. I am working to close one chapter of my life and to open a new one. It isn't easy, and it isn't without road blocks. I have made many mistakes, and I am taking the steps necessary to own those mistakes and do what is necessary to make those mistakes right. 

The process is painfully slow. Things that undoubtedly would seem to be the simplest thing, are in fact multifaceted and complex. I am fighting with myself to take a deep breath, and try to be patient with the growth, changes and actions that need to happen to get to a place that I'm ME again. 

I am holding onto a thread of faith that the things that I have no control over will begin to turn around. And I am working on myself to have the strength to take hold of the things that I can control. I'm working to get a handle on the things that I let go in my midst of depression and my struggles over the last few months. I'm picking up the pieces that fell on their own, and the pieces that I have allowed to fall. I'm moving forward. And while life continues to beat me up, I refuse to allow her to continue to break my spirit. 

I got knocked down, but I got up again.